Soooo Apparently That Post Hit a Nerve? (Friendship Post: Part 2)

Hi friends! (I think…)

You ever write something general and helpful about friendship like “choose people who actually like you,” and someone just immediately outs themselves as the problem? That just happened to me lol.

So, since my Hannah Montana wig got yanked off without my permission, I decided to write a follow-up. I guess this is the most personal, unplanned, sort of scattered article I’ve ever written. And the only one like this that I will ever write. Because when someone gets that triggered by your growth, they’re just proving your point.

Nobody likes a bitter cupcake. Especially not one that would throw shade on your business’s page.

Thank you for the content, girl. You really brought yesterday’s article to life like a live performance art piece titled “Why I Don’t Text Back Anymore.” I should send you a fruit basket.

The funny thing is, my analytics map lit up like a Christmas tree right around a few specific towns last night that it never has before, so it looks like some people have been doing some very dedicated reading! I mean, I get it, good gossip’s hard to resist. But hey, if you’re going to lurk, at least make it less obvious lol.

Let’s Set the Record Straight

I found out some nasty things were said about me, my fiancé, and my family. So yeah, I didn’t keep up with texting. I didn’t beg. I didn’t chase people who didn't care that one of the biggest days of my life ended up a miserable memory. And now they're out here rewriting history like I randomly ghosted my entire friend group for no reason. No, babes. I was exhausted. I was hurt. I was disappointed. I needed support, not side-eyes and snide comments.

When People Talk, I Block

I don’t argue with people who gossip about me. I don’t defend myself to people who have already picked their side. When I found out what was said behind my back, I didn’t explode, I exited. Silently. Cleanly. Like a grown woman with things to do.

You know what I didn’t do? Jump on their business’s page to leave a nasty comment. Because even when I’m done with someone, I don’t mess with their work, or anything else for that matter. That’s a boundary. That’s character.

I’m not some evil super villain plotting to hurt people out here with my written word.

But I will stand up for myself on my own platform, the one I built from scratch while they were busy lurking in group chats and resenting women who actually go for it.

So anyway, I did what healthy people do: I blocked them. I moved on. While they were apparently internet-stalking me, I was building something meaningful that they’ll probably never understand. And that’s fine, it’s not for them.

The Real Reason I Think They’re Mad

I think they're mad that I didn’t fall apart.

I think they're mad that I built something in private. (or so I thought)

I think they're mad that I didn’t shrink myself just to stay invited to places I don’t even want to be anymore.

Like, I'm sort of still confused about how this all fell apart so fast. We were all so close. And there's definitely a friend or two that I feel got lumped in, and I'm not sure I really had to lose them. It really sucks, but like I said, I don't beg, I move on.

Let Me Say It Loud: I’m Free

What they don’t realize is that the second she tried to tear me down on my own page… I finally stopped having to hide. I can stop minimizing myself to make other people comfortable. That era is over.

I’ve built a life that I’m actually proud of, where I get to help people feel better about themselves. That’s literally my job now. And it’s the coolest thing I’ve ever done. I create. I connect. I tell the truth. And I’m not going to apologize because someone is uncomfortable seeing me thrive after being treated like trash. You proved exactly why you’re no longer welcome in my life or my space.  

You don’t get to dim a light you didn’t help turn on, but truly, thank you for outing yourself. My suspicions have been confirmed, so at least I know what really happened now. Thank you for accidentally handing me the permission I didn’t know I needed. I’m free to be proud of myself. Free to grow, shine, and show up fully.

And in case anyone’s confused:

• I don’t want revenge.

• I don’t want validation.

• I don’t want fake closure from people who couldn’t handle my boundaries.

I just want peace. Real peace. The kind that doesn’t require a group chat to survive.

the Truth of the matter

When I was at my lowest? They talked shit. When I started rebuilding? They mocked me. Now that I’m finally doing well? Well, apparently, they're bitter. Which honestly makes me sad. They all have plenty to be happy about and focus on besides me. Maybe it's my fault for making them feel like I randomly stopped caring, but friendships fade... It's a part of life, and it tends to be sped up by badmouthing. Still, I never would have imagined one of us shading another one's livelihood because... what... we basically fizzled out?

If anyone was hurt by my article, I do feel bad. That genuinely wasn't my intention. It wasn't meant to be targeted at one person or group, but at my 27 years of life experience overall with ending friendships. I haven't kept every single pal I've ever had, have you? It's not personal, it's truly just life.

I write this blog to give advice, and you know what? Maybe sometimes my writing style comes across as a little snarky when I'm trying to be funny, but that’s just copy, not malice. It's general, not personal. The article I wrote was not written with ANY ill intent. For instance, I have not personally ever been friends with someone now or ever that I would actually say had "the emotional intelligence of a rock." It was just a zingy hook. Not a jab, not at anyone.

Meanwhile, I checked in with the people who matter most to me these days, and none of them are buying the nonsense. At least I question myself, though! I’m not beyond thinking I could be in the wrong.

So, I had multiple trusted folks read the article for me once the rude comment was made to me, because honestly, I felt bad. They all agreed it was a very generalized and helpful article for people going through friendship breakups. I think that might be part of the problem... maybe they think I'm sitting here all sad and thinking about them constantly, but I'm not. This is a topic that has been requested multiple times, and I just now got around to it. I very rarely just wake up and decide what to write. My ideas sit on a content calendar for months sometimes before I get there. To me? Regarding the people who thought it was about them? I mean, it's in the past, guys... It's been like what, almost a year now???

I'm not really sure what this article is… but having the bandaid ripped where I found out my "secret" blog is not-so-secret, seeing that my old friends definitely read it last night, and one of them being unnecessarily cruel on my page... I felt the need to clear the air, explain myself, add some more friendship advice that wasn't in the first part, (and I guess say goodbye officially if any of you guys are still peeking in here. Genuinely, even though I didn't have the energy to confront anyone, I didn't mean to cause any pain by pulling away. Honestly? I thought I was doing what you guys wanted me to do... why would I stick around if I knew you didn't like me?)

I'm grateful for my current friends who are proud of me and have been cheering me on. They’ve watched me grow (A LOT). They know what I’ve survived. They’ve seen the work I’ve done. The healing. The hard stuff. I’ve had the tough conversations. I’ve faced my own flaws. I’ve changed, and I continue to every day.  

They clap when I win. My old friends apparently cringed. That’s the difference.

I’m not bitter, I really hope it doesn't come across that way. I’m just busy living a life I built myself, and it's a lot of hard work. Everything in life has a trade-off, and I chose to build my dream instead of drama. It's not that I don't think everyone else is trying to reach a goal or live their dream life, but everyone's goals and ways to get there are different.

For me? It's really hard, my dreams are way bigger than I ever let myself realize in the past, and it's just me here chugging along until I get there. Every day at least one thing scales up in a way I never expected, and it's really exciting but exhausting. So, while plenty of "girl bosses" still have time for a full social calendar, honestly? I had to make a choice, and honestly? I didn't realize it until after the choice was already made.

And if we’re being completely frank? I watched so many girls pass through that group... one day someone’s bestie, the next day a villain in a group text. I believed what they said back then. Now? I’m not so sure. That quote about how if someone gossips with you, they’ll gossip about you? Hits different when you realize you were complicit in the very culture that turned around and ate you alive. I'm not trying to be mean, it's just facts.

I tolerated gossip because it wasn’t about me… yet. And then it was. And suddenly, I saw everything differently. I laughed off petty drama and defended people who clearly never had my back. That’s on me. This was a wake-up call. The kind that stings, but also slaps you awake in the best way.

I guess I made the right decision, at least trying to hide the blog from them for so long, (even though I knew that inevitably if I succeeded, people would find out.) Because while she was dropping petty comments on my business’s page, some of you were sending me DMs saying, "I really needed to hear this." People told me it helped them feel seen. That it helped them stop chasing people who clearly didn’t like them. That it gave them permission to grieve friendship breakups, because let's be honest, they do suck. It does hurt. Rejection hurts. Knowing you made someone feel bad hurts.

I'm not a mean girl, but some mean girl behavior had been happening and I'm tired of pretending it wasn't. I want to be around people who want to be with me... and I thought for a long time I was, but I guess not.

I’m not doing watered-down friendships anymore, it's too hard, and sad, and it never ends well. I’m no longer explaining my choices to people who could never understand why I make them. I’m not pretending that everyone deserves a seat at my table just because we shared some good memories once, although those memories meant a lot to me, and I do miss the good old days sometimes. There's no hate here, and maybe that's what this article is actually about.

And if all this triggers you? Then maybe you were never rooting for me to begin with. I’ve got plenty of friends who would never leave a snarky comment online and then act confused when they got blocked. I’m not just surrounded by love, I’m surrounded by people who want to see me win.

So keep throwing stones if you want, I guess. I’m just going to build something with them.

While you’re out here pressed about a blog post that wasn’t even about you, I’m writing part two. And I’m writing it freely. Because for the first time in a long time… I’m done shrinking.

And if anyone else out there has dealt with negativity in friendships, just know, you don’t have to stay quiet to be the bigger person. Sometimes the most powerful thing you can do is speak up, not to get revenge, but to reclaim your story.

So yes, I blocked you. I’m good. I’m at peace. And I’m way too busy building the life I always wanted to worry about people who are still mad I stopped texting back.

Tell the group chat I said hi.